Wedding Speeches Common Questions
Wedding speeches can cause sheer panic. Many people find that they are not comfortable addressing a large audience filled with unfamiliar people. Even if they know the crowd, sometimes it is easy to get a little tongue-tied. It is, after all, a joyous occasion that is most likely being recorded. Who wouldn't get a bit nervous at the thought of a slip-up living forever in jokes each time the reception recording is watched? There are some tricks and tips to make that speech a little easier to give. It is not always about what you say as how you say it.
What is the history of wedding speeches?
Wedding speeches started out as blessings given by the male members of the family. It was unusual in most parts of the world for a woman to give a speech or a blessing to the new couple. This, of course, has changed over the past hundred years. Women are always welcome to give a speech. Historically the wedding speech was not what we would think of it today. It was not filled with jovial reminders of familiarity nor was it as laid back. The wedding blessing was a solemn rite given to ensure the new couple of fertility and heavenly blessing on their fledgling marriage.
Why are wedding speeches given?
Wedding speeches are traditionally given as a blessing for the newly married couple. In modern speeches, there is a trend to bring a sense of familiarity through a remembered memory such as a best man talking about how he and the groom grew up together. The speeches can be humorous, touching or straightforward. The intent is still the same: to wish the new couple a life filled with prosperity, joy and family.
Who gives the wedding speech?
Tradition, or rather modern tradition, dictates that the maid or matron of honor and the best man give a speech to the new couple. Weddings have changed over the last few hundred years. Once only the father's would give a blessing or at least a male member of the household or family. In today's weddings anyone can give a speech. It may be the bride or even the flower girl. Some weddings even offer guests the opportunity to speak a few words to the crowd.
Can anyone give a speech?
As we mentioned before, anyone can give a speech. Should anyone be given the opportunity to address the couple and guests? That depends on how long you want the wedding reception to be. It may take quite a while to get through a reception if fifty people want to give a speech. To be fair, most people do not actually intend to give a speech; their salutations are typically considered a toast to the bride and groom.
I'm getting married, should I ask my wedding party to give a speech?
That is a tough question. It comes down to whether or not you intend to micromanage everything in the wedding. Speeches, much like toasts, should be voluntary. No one wants to be forced to give a speech they do not truly mean. Making someone give a speech is a step away from writing the speech yourself and having them read it aloud. It is better for everyone if the members of the wedding party wish to do a speech because it means that they truly believe in the words they are saying. It should not be about a formality but instead a blessing on the future of the bride and groom.
If you have a real fear that no one will give a speech, you may want to evaluate who is in your wedding party. The wedding party should consist of people who love you and wish you the best. If no one in the party can or will do that on their own, you wouldn't want them to be a part of your special day anyway. The exception to this is if everyone suffers from severe stage fright or agoraphobia. The chances of that are pretty small.
Is there proper etiquette for giving a speech?
There really isn't an etiquette per se, but instead should let common sense be your guide. Wait. Stop. Okay, some people may have a different idea of common sense so elaboration is in order. There are a few Do's and Don'ts when it comes to giving a wedding speech.
Do: congratulate the bride and groom on their recent wedding.
Don't: talk about ex wives, ex husbands or ex significant others. It may be funny to you that the groom has been married four times before but it will not be as funny to the bride, or vice versa.
Do: share a short, sweet story of how you know either the bride or groom.
Don't: talk about how the bride first met the groom at a wild party where everyone was intoxicated. Once again: humor is in the eye or mind of the beholder.
In general the speech should be about acquainting an intimate thought with the entire crowd. Inside jokes may make the couple smile and laugh but it could cause great confusion with the rest of the guests. Give the couple your blessing and wish them well, it will go much farther than an embarrassing story.
How long should my speech be?
Keep the speech no longer than five minutes. Even five minutes is pushing the limits of the crowd. You want your speech to be remembered for its poignancy, not the fact that it put everyone to sleep. Most people have very short attention spans when it comes to long speeches. By keeping to the topics you have in mind and keeping it brief, the crowd and couple will appreciate it.
When should the wedding speech be given?
This depends on how the reception goes. If it is a full sit-down reception, the best time to give the speech is either before or during dinner. That way you have the guests' full attention. If it is just finger foods, the speech can be given as soon as all the guests arrive from the ceremony or even before the wedding cake is cut.
What are some great topics or ideas for speeches?
There are a plethora of topics that can be covered for a wedding speech. The most common is sharing an endearing or funny story from how you and either the bride or the groom came to be friends. It allows the guests an insight into the bond between friends and provides some light hearted humor. The catch is to make it G-rated and not embarrassing. Another great topic is how the bride and groom met. No matter what topic you choose, end the speech within a short time frame and with a well-wishing to the happy married couple.
What are some tips for speaking in front of others?
The first tip is to drink a glass of orange juice. The sugar will help boost your energy and ease some of the nervousness. The second tip: do not picture the audience naked. It really does not work, especially if some of the guests could cause you to burst out laughing uncontrollably. The third tip is to practice the speech until it does not sound rehearsed. That may seem like an oxymoron but it will help you not be dependant on reading from cards and sounding like a robot. Take it easy, the crowd understands that people get nervous when getting up in front of large audiences. Talk slowly, almost until you feel like you are dragging it out because chances are you are not really talking slowly. Most people tend to rush their speeches. The most important thing is to remember that you are paying an honor to your friends. If you mess up, no one will really notice.
Are there any websites that have speeches already written?
Please do not use a pre-written speech. It sounds fake because it is. If you cannot adequately express your speech without being flustered, practice it on a friend. Let them give you pointers on where your speech is going wrong. A speech from the heart is far more important than making it sound grandiose and perfect. If you need helpful hints on giving a speech go to www.weddingtoasts.com .
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Today's Tip On Wedding Speeches
Taking the time to hand make keepsakes to give to the wedding party at wedding receptions is a practice that is increasing in popularity. It is a good way to reduce the cost of having a special memento to share and also makes it more personal and significant to those who have been an important part of your special day. |
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